Club member of staff Kian Ward talks us through his experiences as an openly Gay man working in football.

Hi ya everyone, my name’s Kian Ward and for those who don’t know me I’m the club’s Media Coordinator (I’m afraid it is me telling you to buy tickets 24/7 and I apologise for that!) For those of you who don’t know me too well. I’m an openly Gay man working in one the world’s most popular sports. But why does that matter?

This piece is basically going to be me rambling on about my experiences as a gay man working in, playing in, and watching football. From my time in Sunday League to watching Dartford, to working at Concord Rangers and now here at the Hamlet.

I first came out when I was 15 years old. I told my friend at school Ben I was gay. This sadly isn’t the best coming out experience. I was outed by Ben; he screenshoted my message and posted it all over social media and that was that. I was the new openly Gay kid at school. It was torture, PE lessons were a fear, homophobic abuse in the changing rooms. Being called a “p**f” 9 times a day. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

I thankfully played football with the same group of mates from U10’s through to adult football.
I can’t remember when I came out to them, but it was probably the best experience of my life. My teammates at Swanley FC accepted me like they had as the guy they’d known for years. Not one of them cared they were playing with a Gay guy, if anything they wanted to learn. Talk to me about what being a member of the LGBTQ+ was like.

Sadly, being Gay in football hasn’t always been plain sailing. In January 2022 I was homaphobically attacked on social media by a Dartford FC supporter. What followed was probably the darkest period of my life. I was for the first time ever, scared to attend football matches. Were people going to attack me in person just like this individual had on Twitter.

For 4 weeks I was basically a shell of myself. For the first time ever I’d be attacked purely for being me. Sadly, here in the UK hate crimes against LGBTQ+ people on the rise at an insane speed. I know Queer people who themselves are scared to go out to Gay bars or so-called safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people in fear of being attacked. We need to do more; our allies need to support us as we have supported you. I’m 22 years old now but I only came out to my family in July 2022. A drunken WhatsApp into the family group chat after a few too many cocktails with friends. It’s weird, I didn’t imagine coming out to my family for ages. Now they know and nothing changed and that’s not something I was expecting. I’ve continued to suffer Homophobic abuse in football on social media and in person but it’s through the support of
those here at Dulwich and at Concord that have got me through these tough difficult times.

If 7 years ago you’d have told me that I was out to my family, accepted by all my friends, created new friends within my community and was working in football and absolutely loving it. I’d have bitten your hand off. We still have so much to do though, World Cups being hosted in countries where homosexuality is illegal, so called ‘allies’ ditching their morals at the first sign of money.

However so much is going right, the rise of TRUK United as well as numerous LGBTQ+ supporters groups. 10 years ago many LGBTQ+ people were scared to attend football matches in fear of homophobic attacks. Today the games different, we have openly Gay players in the Men’s game here in England in Europe and around the world.

The work isn’t done yet. I don’t want young Gay people to go through what I’ve had to go through as a Gay guy who loves football.

We have to work together to improve the game, and even more so to improve the lives of Transgender people here in the UK at a time when they need it more than ever before.
To my fellow football loving LGBTQ+ people keep being you, keep shining bright keeping speaking up.

To our straight allies, thank you for your love and support but don’t stop now. We’ve got work to do. Together!

Thank you as always.

Kian (He/Him)